Monday, October 01, 2012

Blast from the Past

I was going through some documents on my work machine looking for a spreadsheet I need to work on. I came across this great memory from my skating days. I came up with shout outs for the announcer for all of our skaters. Read on and be slightly amused. :)

Bad Apple:  Don’t dare to try and take a bite.  This one is a trouble-maker and will bite back.  It only takes one to spoil the bunch.  BAAAAAD APPPPLE

Bitter Kraut:  She’s blonde, she’s cute...she's a side-dish from Deutschland that'll knock the taste right outta your mouth!  BIIIIITTTTEEER KRRRAAAAUT

Chay Your Prayers:  Once this firecracker bowls you over and smashes your pride, don’t sit there and lose faith.  You best bet is to just CHAAAAAY YOUR PRAAAAYERS!

Chocolate Fusion:  Don’t let her sugary smile fool you.  Even though she’s a luscious bit of fudge, she’s got a short fuse and holds a large grudge.  CHOCOLATE FUSION!

Crash McQueen:  Hold on to your belongings and protect your loved ones because once she comes your way she’ll destroy whatever is in her path.  Collision is her passion and wrecking is her MO.  Craaaaaassssh McQuuuueeeeen!

Cynda’ Ambulance:  Clear the path!  Don’t mess around or you’ll get hurt.  Watch yer rear or this skater will roll right over you.  Call 9-1-1!  Cynda’ Ambulance!

Goody Nuff:  You think you got what it takes?  Think you’ve got the right stuff?  She plays hard and skates even harder.  She’s ready to take you on because she knows she’s Goody Nuff.

La La Boom Dee Ay:  TnT – she’s tough and trouble.  Don’t get too close because once she goes off she’ll rattle your teeth and knock you on your rear.  Let’s hear it for LA LA BOOOOOM DEE AY!

Madame Furie:  A hurricane of destruction and fury.  When this spitfire is unleashed upon the track you’ll want to protect your soft spots.  She’s fast, fierce, and furious - a triple threat on wheels.  MADAM FURIE!!!

No Merci:  Get down on your knees and beg for mercy.  Cry and plead…even beg if you must…but all you’ll get is NOOOOOO MEEEERCIIII!!!

Rainbow Fright:  A girl who uses the colors of the rainbow to color our world with terror and mayhem.  Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue…and if you run into this skater she’ll make sure it’s black and blue….RAINBOW FRIGHT!

Red D’vicious:  Red on the head and fire in the…hold on to yer hats and get out of her way or be subject to the malicious Red D’vicious.

Roly Ghost:  This paranormal phenomenon on wheels will show you the meaning of hellfire and damnation. When you shiver because you've just seen a ghost, you'll know you've just been passed by the unholy skating specter ROOOOOOOOLY GHOST!

Ruby Trap:  Don’t let this lovely catch you off-guard because once she is triggered she’s explosive!  Be wary of this dangerous pitfall….RUUUUBBBY TRRRAAAP!

Seoul Crusher:  Soju in her veins and Kimchi on her breath, this firey cherry blossom will knock you flat and make you lose all's SEOOOOOUL CRUSHERRRRRR

Stonecipher:  Don’t make a mistake and let your guard down because like wrecking ball she’ll smash you!  You best check yo’self before she wrecks you!  STONECIPHER!!

1 comment:

Ruby said...

I can just hear them being announced! I didn't know u wrote those! Awesome! Glad u posted:)


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